This is the first thing I’ve written in a couple of months. Back in December I got seriously bucked off the writing “horse”. My emotions snapped like bone and I have been afraid to start writing again until now.
Back in December I was working on a piece of writing honoring my beloved friend Lisa who lost her battle with bladder cancer in December of 2014. I wanted to have the story finished and published by the anniversary of her passing. As you can imagine, the project was fraught with emotion and about half way through, I completely fell apart. I stopped writing.
I started finding excuses not to write. I would fill the time with other projects and activities. Just looking at my laptop would cause me anxiety because I knew what was waiting for me. I didn’t want to leave the story abandoned and unfinished but I couldn’t bear the wave of grief that would crash over me. I knew I could never become the writer I want to be if I couldn’t push through the hard times.
Over the last couple weeks I started writing here and there, but those blogs are also unfinished. Even now, I feel like I should just stop writing this because, honestly, who is really going to care about my writing process? I hate to say this, but this blog is not so much about sharing my journey as facing my demons.
I’m ready to get back on that horse, knowing that she is still volatile and will continue to try and buck me off. I plan to hang on and push through. I hope my blogging will be a source of encouragement as I share snippets of my life with you. I also hope to have Lisa’s story finished and published here in the next couple of weeks.
See you soon!